Day 75: Shyness

Within the last few days I’ve started to look at the point of becoming self confident and how that will support me to become more effective in basically all aspects of my life. I’ve always been really shy, that it became like a personality of mine as ‘who I am’- and to even consider moving from shyness to self confidence is quite frightening for me, but as I started to educate myself about moving from shyness to self-confidence I see that its really not about shyness in itself, because the fear of moving away from shyness is a fear of giving up the shyness as protection / defence mechanism. So as I look at shyness from the perspective that it’s something I created as a protection mechanism in connection to fear I experienced in past memory moments, it no longer seems like an “impossible task”, because the fears I experience today I can look back into my past and see where it started, apply self forgiveness and self correction.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the fear I experience in connection to moving from shyness to self confidence is actually the fear of losing shyness as a protection mechanism that apparently protect me from re-living or re-experiencing emotions, energies and experiences similar to that which I experienced from the past and that to actually let go of shyness I must investigate specific environments, people and situations that trigger shyness within me and see where the fear of such situations, events and people originated from my past through identifying the fears and seeing which memories have connected to the fear, apply self forgiveness for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the fears and corrective me in living here

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear letting go of shyness within the belief that shyness protects me, instead of seeing realizing and understanding that who I am as life can not be threatened, attacked or hurt- it is only personality as self definitions that can be threatened, attacked or hurt- and I also see and realize how the consequences of shyness within my interaction with others in my world- actually manifest that which I fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to refuse to take responsibility for me and for the shyness I have allowed to become a personality as who I am- instead of taking responsibility for me in looking at my fears, seeing where they originated and applying self forgiveness and self correction to no longer accept or allow shyness to be one with and equal to who I am as a personality construct of energy

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and believe that it is impossible to change who I am as shy instead of realizing the practical application of moving myself from shyness into self confidence and assertiveness through identifying where and what I experience shyness in connection to, what is the fear behind the shyness, where did this fear originate from the past and apply self forgiveness and live the corrections I’ve placed before me in how I will live instead

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as unconfident, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to live, express and apply me as self confident within every moment as breath

I commit myself to investigate shyness within specific environments, situations and people and to apply self forgiveness on the specific fears and memories that come up in connection to it, let it go and correct myself in the future when facing the same or similar event

I commit myself to apply self confidence when and as I see myself start to feel shyness come up within me, through remaining here in breathe and slowing myself down

I commit myself to take responsibility for the shyness I created within me through the tools of self forgiveness and self correction

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