Day 73: Boredom SF

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to, when I see that I am experiencing boredom / the word boredom pop up into my mind- investigate boredom, what it is, how one experiences boredom and why boredom comes up within oneself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that boredom is natural and normal instead of realizing that boredom is the consequential outflow of participation in thoughts, internal conversations, backchat, emotions and experiences

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to ever challenge or question boredom- as I am aware that when I start to question my experiences, behaviours and habits in relation to boredom, the consequences the energetic state of boredom has on my physical body and the habits and behaviours in avoiding and postponing responsibilities- seeing the resistance to facing people, situations, events, “having to do this or that” not wanting to do anything- due to a self-victimized pattern of backchat / thoughts / internal conversations where I blame and in this awareness of how boredom is connected to blame- not face within myself my own self responsibility and instead I commit myself to when and as the word boredom comes up within me to find the cause of this boredom, why and how I am experiencing boredom, what is the reason behind this boredom and apply self forgiveness and self correction accordingly to not accept or allow myself to walk again into the same pattern of boredom / blame / victimization

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think before I get up or wake up out of bed: ‘I don’t want to get out of bed’, ‘today is going to be exactly like every other day’- instead of stopping within myself any thoughts or reactions that come up within me first thing in the morning, breathing through the thoughts that come up and decide within myself that I do not accept or allow myself to identify, agree or accept the thoughts as who I am, and push, will and motivate myself to physically move myself out of bed and start the day, breath by breath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself within a heavy energetic state through connecting this heavy energy to thoughts in regards to not wanting to face this or that, not wanting to do this or that, thinking my day will be just like any other day– instead of realizing that the experience isn’t towards that which I am projecting the heavy energy towards- but that I am in this moment of participating in thoughts defining the heavy energetic experience within me and thus accepting and allowing the experience to be one with and equal to who I am- when it is not- it is an energy, and I do not accept or allow myself to define myself according to such energy as I do not give permission for this energy to dictate to me how and what to experience myself

 

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