Day 61: Night Hawk Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that the amount of time I stay ‘home-bound’ is not supporting me to work on my priorities / responsibilities / organizing and think to myself: ‘I should go to the library’- but then justify within myself how that would apparently make my life harder because, at this point in time I am not driving a vehicle- and allow the consideration of changing up my environment to support me with working on my responsibilities to pass me by and for a moment in time- forget that I had even considered it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘make a big deal’ of going places due to me not driving and living in a city that is spread out, and rather than consider different options like taking the bus, welcome the feeling of being stuck and victimized here in my home, wherein I trap myself in my responsibilities through putting them off / procrastinating until the last moment when it is very late at night- where after I am not able to do much else but browse the internet to not wake others, and throughout the day me wanting to do some gardening / cleaning up / drawing but think to myself- no- I HAVE to do this first, instead of considering that if I put more things in my schedule, or, when I see myself being distracted to not have to do what is required, to take a moment to draw / clean up / do some gardening and that these things will actually support me through practically moving through the temptation to do nothing through them taking up ‘time slots’ within my day where there won’t be much room for anything else but practical physical action

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue staying up very late at night and sleeping in in the morning despite the fact I realise turning into a ‘night hawk’ is simply not effective due to there not being any opportunities late at night to do my responsibilities through having to be quiet and in that way limit my movement to not wake anyone up- when I see that all I have to do is simply cut my sleep short one day, get up early and start a new sleeping schedule through ensuring that I wake at decent hour

I commit myself to. When and as I see where I am not being effective and immediately see the solution, to instead of allowing it to just pass me by through utilizing excuses- actually do them and push myself to walk the correction

I commit myself to move, switch up and change my environment to support me to not give into temptation to do nothing

I commit myself to start and continue a new sleeping cycle through waking up early everyday


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