Day 53: Thoughts as Distractions

This blog is a continuation from the last called: Day 52: Anxiety and in this blog I will be investigating and taking further the self forgiveness statement from yesterday quoted here:

“I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that what was being presented to me as who I am one and equal as this person is my own experience of anxiety and how I have within my mind jumped from one point to the next to the next etc with no clarity, stability, common sense or practical insight”

Continued:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to follow thoughts, from one, to the next, to the next, to the next and in that- constantly and continuously generate friction and energy within myself which I experience as anxiety- becoming completely overwhelmed within myself due to me giving my direction, power and authority to the mind to direct me. Instead, when and as a thought pops up in my mind, I stop, I do not accept or allow myself to participate in thoughts that come up and rather if there is a point that I want to express, I write it down

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that- the experience of being overwhelmed with anxiety due to me jumping from one thought to the other – I am accepting and allowing myself to participate in the mind over an extended period of time and thus, I commit myself to within the awareness of me participating in thoughts that create anxiety within me, stop

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize, that for me to participate in conversations within myself, that there actually exist a belief within myself that ‘who I am’ is me speaking to myself and having conversations within myself and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that thoughts and voices that come up within me is me, instead it is my mind as who I have programmed myself to become from the past and not who I am as Life

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to, when faced with inner conflict within myself as friction, write it down because who I am is physically writing and expressing myself- who I am is not having thoughts and conversations within myself where my mind has the tendency to swop from one point to the next and instead, I commit myself to when faced with an experience of friction or inner conflict within me, stop and write down the point that requires to be addressed and take self responsibility for me through self forgiveness and self correction

After the conversation with the person took place yesterday, I realized that the swopping of one point to another is actually a way to distract self from taking on one point at a time because if one were to do that- one would have to sort out, direct and face that one point and take self responsibility. So the diverting of attention from one point to the next is actually a defense mechanism of the mind to not have to change, direct or consider perspectives and considerations other than one’s own. And thus,

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have deliberately created this experience of anxiety from jumping from one point, to another that send me into mind cycles where I end up experiencing myself overwhelmed- to not be here and walk one point at a time through writing because I realize that if I walk one point at a time I have no choice but to face, direct and sort myself out. I commit myself to, when and as I see myself jumping from one point to the next where I experience anxiety and feeling overwhelmed, to realize I am actually distracting myself from taking on the point that caused the thoughts and reactions in the first place and stop and investigate that point through writing, self forgiveness and self correction

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in thinking as a distraction from facing that which comes up within me and within my world as what is required to be directed and corrected and in that deliberately hide from me and my responsibilities and instead, I do not accept or allow myself to participate in thinking as a form of distracting my attention from the awareness of me and my self-responsibility towards the thoughts and reactions that come up within me

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2 Responses to Day 53: Thoughts as Distractions

  1. Wow so true! I notice this as well within myself. Jumping from one point to another and never facing them in their entirety. Thanks for the support to help me see.

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