Day 52: Anxiety

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in anxiety towards another who expresses themselves and the problems they are facing in their lives where they jump from one point to the next to the next to the next in a hyper energetic-like state and me not able to follow along and really understand where they are coming from or what they are experiencing because after asking, new different points emerge that are related and I am unable to make that connection and me experiencing like my whole attention is being diverted and experience myself overwhelmed by this persons expression

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in anxiety towards others where I do not understand what they are experiencing and expressing because I have never been exposed to such an expression because I come from a stable environment

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, when I do not understand another person’s expression, take it into myself and upon myself instead of understanding what I am experiencing and my reactions in the moment that caused the reaction in the first place

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame the reactions that came up within me towards another as the emotional energetic experience of anxiety, rush and attention distractions where I experienced myself overwhelmed instead of realizing that I was participating in the mind of thoughts and reactions and thus in the mind everything seems to move very quickly but in reality, the whole conversation moved breathe to breathe, moment to moment

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project my own hyper energetic experience of energy towards another instead of realizing that it is me who is hyper and energetically charged due to me not knowing or understanding another’s expression and instead breathe, ensure that I am here within my physical body

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that what was being presented to me as who I am one and equal as this person is my own experience of anxiety and how I have within my mind jumped from one point to the next to the next etc with no clarity, stability, common sense or practical insight

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to approach the conversation from the starting point of wanting to support and assist another with their problems and taking on this saviour complex instead of realizing that I cannot help or support another coming from a personality of mind as superiority and distraction as what is obvious to me is how I have actually diverted my attention from assisting and supporting myself FIRST to trying to assist and support others in abdicating my responsibility of me

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to direct myself within the conversation in a way where we could both open up points and walk through one point at a time and share ourselves and instead, utilize the excuse that I said it was ok for them to unload everything they are experiencing on me and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing others to unload their problems and experiences onto me

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself react in anxiety towards another and their expression, reflect back to myself in where it is I am not understanding my own reactions, not accept or allow myself to take on their experiences and upon myself, through seeing what it is that I am reacting to within myself and direct, sort and face these points within myself

I commit myself to investigate anxiety within myself in how I have accepted and allowed myself to jump from one point to the next without clarity, common sense or practical insight through writing, self forgiveness and self correction

I commit myself to, when and as I experience myself feeling overwhelmed within myself towards another, stop, breathe and ensure that I am here within my physical body in moving me moment to moment

I commit myself to assist and support myself first before I try and attempt to support others as I realize see and understand that I have done this from the starting point of abdicating my own responsibility- and instead focus myself on sorting myself out and from there be a living example as one who has walked the correction of such a point

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One Response to Day 52: Anxiety

  1. Pingback: Day 54: Wanting to help others with Their Problems SF | An Introvert's Journey To Life

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