Day 50: Memory part 2- separating myself from drawing

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the memory of when I was a child and my mother told me that I am the best artist in the world- as the platform for who I have become as ego-superiority and arrogance and within this, abdicate my responsibility of who I am within and towards the memory as the reason why I exist as superior and arrogant- abdicating who I am to an abstract construct and the essence of those that exist within the memory- my mother- instead of taking responsibility for myself through forgiving me for who I have become one and equal to ego-superiority and arrogance through my acceptance, allowance and participation and correct who I am and live those corrections here

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to show my drawing to my mom from the starting point of having my ego recognized, and when my mother says to me ‘you are the best artist in the world’, confirm to myself that I am good at drawing and I am the best at drawing and within that, experience myself feeling proud of myself instead of realizing that I have separated myself from being here within the expression of myself in every moment within drawing- into an experience of ‘being more’ as an emotional energetic experience in relationship to my physical actions whereby I ‘left myself here’ to live for and within the mind instead of living here in every moment of breath as the expression of who I am

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the moment ‘I feel good’ as being proud of myself for having drew something that received recognition from my mother as the words ‘you are the best artist in the world’, that through participating within the emotional experience of feeling good and proud- I am actually taking pleasure in believing I am more than other children/people and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take pleasure in believing myself to be more than and better than other children/people

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to being more and better than other children/people at drawing when my mother told me I am the best in the world, instead of realizing that I have transformed drawing within my mind from no longer being an expression I simply enjoy doing, into an idea of value and importance within the eyes of my mother and society as a whole which implied to me the importance of being on top and the best which manifest competition within me

continued within the next blog

Image

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s