Day 31: Compromise part 2 Corrections

I see, realize and understand that the immediate and automatic surge of emotions that comes up within me in conflicting scenarios where I believe and perceive that I am a powerless victim- creating the other as the polarity opposite of what I experience as authority and power- is actually a defense mechanism I created within me as habit to not have to ‘lose’ myself as I have defined myself in separation to this authority figure within and as my world- and within this blame the other as the cause for my experience and that it is their fault- instead of realizing, seeing and understanding that they are actually reflecting to me who I am within the polarity design of inferiority and superiority, as the event exposes me in accepting and allowing myself to define myself as inferior and as the other reflect back to me in also defining myself as superior towards others in my world and thus, I do not accept and allow myself to play into the game of inferiority and superiority with others in my world as I realize that I am one and equal towards those who express emotional instability. I commit myself to, when I see that I have gone into either inferiority or superiority with others in my world, stop, and speak the words, I am one and equal as this person. If they reflect to me a specific point in where I can apply myself more in specificity, apply that so that I can actually become equal to their expression in whatever it is I see they are effective in, instead of going into the polarity design of inferiority/superiority where the consequence of participating is bringing someone down to my level within my mind instead of uplifting myself in living application.

I see, realize and understand that the defense mechanism I created as habit of immediately and instantaneously experiencing a surge of emotions that come up in conflicting scenarios has been designed, created and manifested by me through constant participation in the past which is why the behaviour that has formed habit is so automatic, I have ‘forgotten’ that I first and foremost abdicated myself to my mind in following emotions, feelings and thoughts in presenting myself a choice in who I will be in a moment. Thus, I do not accept and allow myself to follow my pre-programmed path of simply accepting emotions to come up within me without investigating how they have become part of me and my self-definition to learn what it means to be the directive principle in my life in what is best for all

I commit myself to, when a thought arise within my mind in relation to what I fear I will lose in a worst case scenario- stop, I see that the fear of loss is equal to me feeling threatened and realize and that the only thing that can feel threatened or be threatened is a personality design existing as self-definition and thus, I do not accept or allow myself to define myself in separation of me. It is impossible to ‘lose’ myself because I am here. I commit myself to investigate the self definition in writing, self forgiveness and practical application because I realize that the self definition implies I have put my wants, needs and desires before others instead of living consideration of the golden rule

When I see a person’s emotional experience is expressed within a change of voice tonality and behaviour, I commit myself to stop and not accept and allow myself to ‘act out’ through going silent and presenting a false deceptive presentation of agreement. I ask myself the question, what am I accepting and allowing in this moment? Make the stance within myself in what I will accept and what I won’t. I stop and ensure that I am silent within me, that I am focusing on my breathing, being here in hearing what the person wanting to say and express. After the person is done speaking, I assess the situation in common sense and apply them in the moment if possible. If the person is unable to stop the emotional turmoil within themselves I will leave as there will be no effective communication when they are emotionally charged- or if I am unable to in that moment stop the emotional turmoil that come up within me, I remove myself from the situation as I will not be effective in communication when I am still reacting in emotions- and investigate the point with writing, self forgiveness and self correction

I do not accept or allow myself to participate in presenting a false face of agreeing with another when my backchat reflects the opposite. I realize that in this moment I am justifying my self-definitions and that this moment is an opportunity to transcend this point when I stop and allow myself to let it go

Image

 

art by Kumi Yamashita

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