Day 30: Compromise 2 Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as the powerless victim towards others who express emotional instability because I immediately react within a surge of emotions, and define the other as the polarity opposite of what I experience as authority and thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my responsibility of me onto the other through blaming them for the emotional experience I realize is a defense mechanism to protect my self-definitions in self interest that already existed within me before the situation took place

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to listen to what my mind has to say about what I will ‘lose’ if the situation were to escalate in a worst case scenario and within that, feel threatened, not accepting and allowing myself to apply the realization that the only thing that can feel threatened or can be threatened within me is a personality design existing as a self-definition and thus, I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to immediately stop within myself as I realize that I am defending a self-definition within me. Instead I realize that who I am as Life cannot be threatened or hurt, as it is only my ego that experiences threat or hurt and investigate the self-definition in writing, self forgiveness and self correction

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, when a person’s emotional experience is expressed within a change of voice tonality and behaviour, react within the surge of emotions which I ‘act out’ through going silent, and present a false desceptive presentation of me as agreeing with them when my backchat reflect that I do not agree and that this situation is not acceptable. Instead I stop and ensure that I am silent within me, that I am focusing on my breathing, and allow the person to ‘get out’ all of what they want to say/express. When I see they are done I assess the situation in common sense and find solutions and apply them in the moment if possible. If the person is unable to stop within themselves I will leave as there will be no effective communication when someone is emotionally charged or If I am unable to in that moment direct myself to stop, I realize I must remove myself from the situation as I will not be effective in communication when I am still reacting in emotions and investigate the point with writing, self forgiveness and self correction

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be dishonest with me through presenting a false presentation of agreeing with another and relating to them when I know within myself that what I am accepting and allowing is not acceptable but continue so that I do not have to stop who I am as the self-definition I realize can be transcended in this moment when I stop.  I do not accept or allow myself to present a false face of agreement when there exist within me a point where I know what I am accepting and allowing is not acceptable and instead I reflect to me what it is and change who I am as I allow myself to let it go

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