Day 22: Energy, Hiding and Visibility Part 3

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to the negative energetic experience of fear and anxiety that surge up within myself when speaking up, standing up and being visible

I forgive myself for not accepting or allowing myself to take the realization that this negative alternate state of being is the accumulation of suppressed emotional energies from the past and sort, direct and face these points with self forgiveness and self corrective application

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize, that the negative energetic experiences that surges up within me directed to and towards others within facing the point of responsibility in applying myself in visibility, is actually a protection mechanism I have designed and created within myself as Polarity to always generate and experience myself in positive energy, and that the fear-energy within that moment I experience in relation to others is me abdicating my responsibility of myself towards others through blame to protect my positive energetic experiences in relationship to others in my world

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify the thought ‘I fear being visible’ through believing that I am energy, that I am this energetic experience of fear and anxiety that surge up within my stomach and believe that to be valid only because I experience it, instead of realizing that who I am as Life is not energy, does not require energies generated within the mind as emotions and feelings to Live and direct myself in physical reality in self responsibility

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing myself as I have defined myself in separation within energy that has now formed a relationship of addiction

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that if I stand up and write in visibility, that I will lose the positive uplifting energetic experience of happiness when I run into an acquaintance where I would smile, wave, say ‘hello’ and receive in return a smile and ‘How are you?’ which I interpret as this person accepts and appreciates me, without actually ever knowing what this person is really thinking or feeling, but use this experience to gain an energetic high of positive feelings

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deliberately smile, say hello and ask how others are only to receive the same gesture in return so that I can experience a positive uplifting energetic experience where I have the idea or belief that I am being ‘polite’ and ‘nice’ and that the person will appreciate my interest when I have in fact no interest but to generate positive energetic experiences within me, which are revealed and exposed in my reactions afterwards when the person doesn’t ask me in return

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear no longer experiencing myself within energy as I realize within this process that I must stop all energy addiction as it prevent me actually Living, expressing, caring, loving and giving thus, I commit myself to stop all energy addiction through the process writing, self-forgiveness and self-correction

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