Day 13: Guilt self corrective statements 2

I commit myself to, when feeling bad comes up within me after an event/situation, immediately stop and ask myself: do I only feel bad now that I have been exposed? Is ‘feeling bad’ real when I feel bad now after the event and not while it was occurring? Do I only feel bad because I care what others think of me? I realize that ‘feeling bad’ isn’t actually real and is not supportive in getting to a point where I can take direction to stop myself and the behaviors that create consequence. I realize I do not need to ‘feel bad’ after I realize I have made a mistake, and that it is actually self dishonest to feel bad because when I answer the questions I listed above I see that I only consider myself and my own self interest instead of considering my actions, what the outflows are and how I will correct them when the same access point to the pattern arise- where if I only ‘feel bad’ I leave it at that and hope it goes away.

I commit myself to stop the pre-programmed design of guilt within me which I accept and allow to take me over and keep me enslaved to the same patterns that create consequence, because I realize that in guilt there exist no self-direction, self-movement, change or self responsibility because I only wallow in guilt and do nothing, instead of reflecting on my position and doing the math to see what my actions will accumulate and if that accumulation is what is best for all and re-align myself accordingly. I realize that guilt is a mechanism to protect myself from the ‘wrath’ of others, and that I use guilt to show others that I recognize that I have done something ‘wrong’ and hope that they will take it easy on me and accept me back into the group. In that I tacitly imply that my actions are acceptable because I leave the door open to walk into the same pattern. I realize that guilt is not acceptable because it is dishonest, as I am not actually ‘sorry’ and I don’t actually care that I have done something that may harm another as long as I can keep doing what I am doing without scrutiny- I commit myself to stop the guilt character as a face I put on to look better than I actually am and direct, move, change and take responsibility for myself within the principle of what is best for all.

I commit myself to see directly the situation I created instead of judging myself as ‘bad’ and punishing myself, instead of realizing that ‘good’/’bad’ is only knowledge and information that has been passed down to me that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on to form my point of reference- an outside separate source- instead of trusting myself to live and direct me.

I commit myself to stop the fear of seeing myself in a negative way and manipulating myself to believe that I am a ‘good’ person because I care enough about other people’s feelings to punish myself with guilt- so to not have to face this fear. I realize that the fear seeing myself in a negative light create me as only negative, where I can profess love and all the positive emotions and deny any negatives only because it conflicts with my self-image/definition, instead of facing me as who I actually am, shadows and all and correct me.

I commit myself to stop deceiving myself and others as myself to believe that I care about other people’s feelings when I don’t, so that I can keep out of trouble and not lose what I apparently own. Instead I commit myself to do the necessary corrections to make sure that I don’t make the same mistake, face the consequences of my actions and let go of what it is I am holding on to that is not my own.

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