This blog is a continuation to:
I realize that when I do not get out of bed that I’m using sleep to not have to face me- and that no matter how long I sleep I will still have to face me and my day because it is impossible to hide from myself because I’m always here- so it would make more sense to get out of bed right away and walk my day. I commit myself to, in the moment of waking up, push myself to sit up, remove the covers and place my feet on the ground.
I realize that when my mind is bored its like saying to me “I’m dying! I need more energy to feed on!”. When I allow myself to participate in thoughts, emotions, energies that keep my mind occupied I am missing out on the physical reality, my movement and awareness as the body and the people around me. I commit myself to bring myself back here when the mind as me is pleading for energy to keep itself alive through entertaining itself with pointless shit.
I realise that the fears that come up within my mind serve no purpose than to keep me within the same patterns of ineffective behaviour because through those fears my mind will lead me to justifications when I face a point of consequence for my actions instead of being honest with myself and correcting the behaviours that created consequence in the first place. I commit myself to when fear arise within me, stop, and immediately walk into the point of correction or, if that is not apparent in the moment, write, apply self forgiveness and corrective application.
I realise that consequences are the result of past moments where I had not directed myself that has accumulated over time. I commit myself to walk the corrections necessary in space/time accumulation instead of compounding fear through adding memories of moments of the same/similar nature- which make it more difficult to stop.
to be continued.