day 4: Boredom

When I read my previous posts on work it seems as though I really resent work, but I don’t. I don’t mind what I do and sometimes I have a good laugh with the people I work with. The thing that has been bothering me most is the point of boredom at work. We build cars, 1 every minute say, and I am on a team with 8 specific jobs. I do all the jobs without having to think about them, and I often feel really bored and alone. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate self responsibility through making the statement and living the definition ‘the job I do is creating my experience because it is repetitive and I am able to do them without thinking, which leaves me feeling bored and alone’ instead of bringing the point of boredom and the fear of being alone back to myself, because I realize that I actually have always experienced myself this way, I realize that work ‘just is’ and that there is nothing ‘negative’ or positive’ about it and in actuality, I am the one associating negativity with work

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad that I am not able to apply critical thinking or other skills to my job

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel diminished for having to perform the same repetitive tasks

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always want to be happy and always have something to do because I am unable to just be with myself and that being ok

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to feel good, be happy and positive, to build relationships so that I do not have to face myself alone

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to constantly compare myself to other people through seeing myself through the eyes of others and judging me

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being alone with myself at work

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being intimate with myself in seeing the thoughts that come up within my mind when I am bored and alone at work

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