I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from support through defining support within another in relationship to not have to face what comes up within me as emotional conflict and turmoil through turning to relationships to deny/ignore/suppress what comes up within me instead of defining support as SELF support through becoming intimate with me through looking at what comes up within me through writing and apply self forgiveness and self correction to become self supportive
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that defining support within another in relationship as turning to another for comfort and affection when emotional conflict arise within myself is not actually support- but is the suppression of myself and the support of the mind to remain enslaved to the now of consciousness as remaining within the past/present/future
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that support cannot be separate from self because it is impossible, I realize that if I am to define support in separation of me- I will have to lose that perceived support to show me that support must come from self and thus, support placed within another in relationship cannot be constant because it is dependent on another outside separate from self- support is constant within and as self
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take action for myself to sort out the inner conflict within myself when it arises but instead turn to relationships I created within the mind as defence mechanisms not ‘not go there’- I realize that I manifested and externalized these defence mechanisms from the mind into physical relationships with others deliberately instead of breaking down the barriers. I realize that through taking action with myself through writing myself out, applying self forgiveness and self correction immediately that I am supporting myself to stop the separation within myself and with others and thus will not continue to create relationships as externalized defense mechanisms to remain enslaved to the mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that support is when I can go to someone in my world when I am upset and they will listen to me, be there for me and make me feel better and believe that this person and the relationship is special and supportive- when in actuality it is not that at all. I realize that this is not support but the opposite of support- because each person is actually supporting the others dishonesty instead of reflecting the person back to themselves and become self honest and this is not a pretty, happy relationship because at the current stage in our processes self honesty is met with resistance, anger and denial. I realize that real support with another is when beings reflect each other back to themselves and do not accept or allow anything less than who they are.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to bring myself back here, and reflect what it is I experience back to me first but instead participate in backchat within my mind , abdicating my own responsibility through blame and turning to another to confirm my position as righteous, as I would do the same for the other- and continue existing in self dishonesty and accepting and allowing dishonesty equal and one with the other. I realize that all that comes up within me- is my own creation. It is impossible for anyone or anything to ‘make me feel’ something because I created how I will react through the accumulation of past experiences where I actually specifically designed and constructed patterns of behavior. I stop, breathe, and reflect myself back to me