sleeping

I started a new job 2 days ago. In my last job I had a bad habit of sleeping in, coming in late to work etc. I stay up late because there are more activities that I enjoy doing at night.

The past two days I’ve come home from work exhausted, it may be because I’m starting a new waking pattern. Today after work I came home and went straight to bed. My brothers alarm clock went off at 8 and I immediately stressed out because I thought it was 8 in the morning- but I’ve done this before so I checked if it was am or pm. I have a lot of anxiety about coming in late to work because I don’t want to lose my job and I’ve charged this point with emotions and feelings in an attempt to ‘get me to wake up’ so that I don’t sleep in.

I used to hate waking up in the morning. I would always press the snooze button and leave it until the last moment before I had to get out of bed. I find that now, when I wake up and immediately get out of bed as soon as I wake- doing what I need to do has become much more enjoyable, and easy.

I do not enjoy however coming home and falling asleep, its not something that I want to experience because there are other things I want to do instead, like maintaining my environment so that I am organized and everything is clean.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge waking up with a negative value

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge ‘being late’ with a negative value

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deliberately participate in anxiety, emotions and feelings in an attempt to manipulate myself to wake up in the mornings instead of ensuring that I get 6 hours of sleep a night

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in fear of losing my job for being late- instead I immediately wake when my alarm goes off, get up, stand up, and do what is required of me to do

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to oversleep because I do not want to face my day especially at work

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dread going to work

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in constant fear and anxiety of losing my job due to sleeping in

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I do not get a sufficient amount of sleep that I will be tired

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become dependent on sleep

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that ‘lack of sleep’ exist, and if I ‘lack sleep’- I will be tired

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect ‘lack of sleep’ to tiredness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use sleep as a method to hide from self responsibility and facing myself within and as my reality in every moment as the breath

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that ‘the difficulty of waking up in the mornings is my emergence as the mind from the unconscious, to the subconscious to the conscious mind- which ‘takes a while’- then when I’m ‘awake’ and ‘up’- it’s actually me as the conscious mind, actively participating within and of the unified consciousness field

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define who I am as sleep

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I sleep less than I normally do- I will be tired

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to wake up in the morning as breath as me in the moment

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am exhausted because I am not following the same sleep pattern I had previously lived

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am exhausted because I am not getting the sleep I normally would

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as exhaustion

Correction

I allow myself to wake up, and take a deep breath- breathing with me as the awareness of me throughout my day and at work

When my alarm clock goes off- I immedietly open my eyes, and stand up ready for the day as directing, willing and moving myself to do what is required of me

I do not accept or allow myself to participate in exhaustion, exhaustion is of the mind and not who I really am as Life

I do not accept or allow myself to participate in anxiety in an attempt to ‘wake up’ in the morning and be on time for work

I come home from work, in breath, and immediately do what I would like to do, maintaining my space keeping everything organized and clean

 

 

 

 

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