Stagnancy and Self Movement

Jan 28

I had an interesting dream today. i was catching fish with other people. I caught one but i started swinging it around more and more because i didnt want to take the fish off he hook myself. I noticed that there was a cut along the side of the fish, beside one of the fins. The fish was bloody and it was because i had waited so long to remove the hook. I asked someone else to remove the fish for me, and they cut the fish where it was already sliced beside the fin.

I can see how the dream is relating to the current experience of myself. I am relying and waiting for others to take responsibility for me because i do not want to take responsibility for myself. In this waiting and wanting others to take responsibility for me i am causing abuse and prolonged suffering.

I see that my starting point within ITD has been wanting others to take responsibility for me. Where conditions are in place where i must make blogs and vlogs- or else i will kick myself out. The fear of allowing myself to be kicked out has been my motivation to write and vlog- instead of me directing me and moving me for myself. I see that I am abusing those supporting me and the desteni community as a whole- as well as myself.

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2 Responses to Stagnancy and Self Movement

  1. alexvossen says:

    Cool that your facing the point of taking self-responsibility Sally. I am currently confronting how I place the responsibility to support myself outside of me. Through writing I can see how I use the motivation of other people to move myself, instead of doing anything for myself. The interesting thing I realized about self-support is that the responsibility for applying it lies exclusively with that person and if it is sought after in seperation of oneself it simply will not work. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Maya says:

    Thanks for Sharing Sally –
    Remember that we can always change the starting point within what we’re doing meaning, even if you started the ITD from a fucked up starting point, you can always change it within self honesty.

    I can relate to what you are writing as i’m walking the same point myself – self support and what it is actually implies. what i’ve seen is that i was to hard on myself which led me to forget to live LIFE.

    so just breath, stand, change, direct, walk..

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