Jealousy and Dishonesty in Relationship

I have always experienced an immense amount of jealousy in relationships.

The other day I met Paul, another Destonian. The meeting was very cool and a lot of points opened up for both of us- seeing the reflection of ourselves through each other. Though, the point of jealousy opened up and is the most prominant experience of me at the moment. My boyfriend Alex experienced some jealousy when I met Paul because he sees another Destonian as a threat because we are share the same principles or interests in other words. I experience a fear of losing Alex.

Alex and I hung out yesterday and we had a conversation about this subject. And as I sit here now, i realise the dishonesty within the relationship as feeling jealous about each other. Jealousy is one of the most dishonest personality suite (not that any 1 personality suite is any more dishonest than another, i realise all personality suites are equal in dishonesty, but here i show myself that i have been most dishonest in jealousy). I see this because I have projected what I have done within the secret mind onto others in relationship, seemingly innocent as i believe the other is doing things or thinking things about other people when in fact i was only projecting myself and what i know i do, that which i would not want done onto myself- towards my partner.

What have I allowed within myself that i would not want done unto me, not living love thy neighbor as thyselff?

An easy way to identify what I do is what I project onto Alex, which is desiring to be with another sexually, wanting to have sex with a pretty picture. I find opening up and sharing this, exposing this is difficult- but it only reveals to me that i have created personalities within relatinoship. So, im here to bring the split personalities together to end the illusion, forgive and correct. Im tired of allowing the polarity to direct and enslave me.

Ive decided to direct this situation by writing all of what i do within my mind, all that i have kept secret and hidden and share it with Alex, and asking him to do the same. Expose ourselves, BREATH, forgive and correct.

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2 Responses to Jealousy and Dishonesty in Relationship

  1. Leila says:

    Thanks for sharing Sally, jealousy’s a bitch and best to take on the moment you catch it.

    At some point last year, Gian was so indulged into jealousy that he would literally get heart-attacks (from the fear/anxiety within being jealous) Bernard simply told him that if he doesn’t stop his jealousy he’ll die from it.

  2. Cool Sally and Leila, thanks for sharing.

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