Ways to test your Pre-Program Design by Bernard Poolman
In the past couple of days my room has been trashed with clothing. Yesterday I finally sorted out the clothes and put the clothing into garbage bags to donate. Some clothing I’ve kept for 4 years because these items were ‘treasures’ and relics of who i was in the past- yet had absolutely no practicality in wearing day to day- so now they are gone. Other clothing I’ve kept because ‘I might need/wear them someday’ but i never did and they are gone too. Now some of the clothing I have not given away because i am upset with myself for how much money I’ve spent on them, and they are ‘beautiful’ pieces of clothing- and still don’t wear. I know which of those pieces i own and will give them away as well.
I have boots that i gave away, each I’ve spent 300-400 on; they are gone. I am astounded at what I’ve paid for and has no real value.
Clothing has become one of my posessions. On the outside i ‘owned’ many peices of clothing but in reverse i was owned/posessed by the clothing itself.
Within the statement i placed on youtube, clothing is the last possession to give up. I find that clothing and my experience within clothing has become an addiction and DANGEROUS because I am spending money on clothing that supports the mind design instead of supporting myself practically and placing my money towards an equal money system. This addiction must stop.
the question is: do i ever tell myself that i do not have enough clothing to live? no, i am never in short of clothing, so I don’t need to buy any more clothing than what i have.
I have justified buying clothing by shopping at thrift stores because ‘its cheaper’.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to place value in clothing that is not practical
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become angry with myself for placing value into impractical clothing and hang into these items to reinstate this anger i have towards me
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to purchase clothing that supports the mind as desires for a particular picture presentation to feel and experience myself specifically amongst others