Day 65: Fear of the word NO

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear when and as I ask someone for something that I want, hearing NO

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within fearing the word ‘no’ from another when I ask of them something that I want from them, to create a personality within myself in how I will behave and act when asking the question to manipulate others to give me what I want, through speaking softly, quietly, enlarging my eyes and giving eye contact- within ‘shyness’ being timid, insecure, innocent, and if possible, make as though what I will ask of them will benefit them as a result of giving me what I want instead of building self-trust within me that no matter what the answer, I direct me

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize, that when I see another attempt to manipulate me in getting what they want through taking on a personality character of shyness, innocence and making as though I will somehow benefit from doing what it is they are asking of me– to become completely enraged within myself that another would ‘attempt to manipulate me right to my face‘, that I have, as revealed within my own reactions and shown by me who I am one and equal as the other, in the seeing of what it is they are doing– I have done the exact same, and extensively

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rule the answer ‘no’ out of the equation, as not an option, when asking another for something I want of them and within this, utilize manipulation tactics instead of taking into consideration if what I am asking another is actually realistic according to their responsibilities, available time, energy and effort- the consequences of deliberately changing myself towards another to get what I want in who I am accepting and allowing myself to become one with and equal to, what I am doing to myself, how it affects the relationship with myself and with others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become angry with me in allowing myself to be manipulated by others when they ask of me something and utilize manipulation tactics such as shyness, insecurity, making as though I will benefit from doing what it is they ask of me- instead of realizing that I cannot be manipulated or controlled without my permission, acceptance and allowance- and as I self-honestly look at the reasons why I had agreed to doing something, was because of my own wants, needs and desires in separation of myself and in that, compromised me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame another for the reactions I experience within me while another presents to me a false deceptive presentation of shyness and insecurity to manipulate me in giving them what they want from me, instead of realizing that the reactions that come up within me, are actually defence mechanisms I utilize to refuse to see who I am, what I am allowing, what I am participating in, in fact- as I see, realize and understand, that the greater the reaction within me reveals the extent to which I’ve participated in the exact same application and thus, one and equal

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself think ‘I fear this person will say no when I ask’- STOP, do not accept or allow myself to participate as I realize see and understand that the thought and the information it carries and triggers within me as manipulation is not acceptable- that no matter what the answer– I direct me

I commit myself to, when and as I see another is attempting to manipulate me, stop any form of reaction that comes up within me, I do not accept or allow myself to blame another for the reactions I created to protect my self-interests, I realize I am one and equal to what this person is accepting and allowing when reactions come up within me, and assist and support myself through breathing, possibly asking questions, giving myself time to consider doing what it is they are asking me– and write down what came up within me when possible to investigate where and how I am living the same application and apply self forgiveness and self correction accordingly

I commit myself to, when and as another asks of me something, to ensure I am clear of all wants/needs/desires as to not accept or allow myself to self-compromise me and create consequences for myself and others, through preventing this from happening in clearing my starting point when I take on a project
I commit myself to investigate where and how I am living and applying the manipulation to get what I want tactics and apply self forgiveness and self correction to ensure I build self-trust within me and not accept anything less than who I am as Life